Wednesday, April 14, 2010 Late Afternoon

[Admin]

Zak was far from a mood to associate with anyone. It bothered him that there was no sense or meaning to Allie's death. It bothered him that nothing about it was logical. He supposed that some of it could be attributed to entropy but he had to wonder why Allie was the target of it. He pulled out his pipe, stuffed some weed in it, and lit it up. Sitting on a park bench at Trident Park, he looked up for a moment and said, "Sorry, Allie. Hope you understand."

She saw him from a distance while on her way home. Things had been pretty dark of late, and in Neptune, that was saying something. Masaki was gone, Allie had died. It felt like the world was closing in on all of them. Beverly walked over and stopped a few steps behind him. "I told you that was bad for you before, but right now I don't have any good reason to justify my usual excuses to tell you to stop. In fact, I have to admit, it might help keep you calm."

Zak grunted an acknowledgment. "Do you really think that I would lose control?"

"In your current state, I think your control is on edge. But, don't feel alone, because you aren't."

"I feel, what is the correct word for it? Numb. Control is not something I would lose. Besides, I have to hold on to what little I can of Allie. Of course, unlike you, she would likely be giving me a lecture right now about my pipe."

"I'm not her. And, she was my friend too, so while feeling a different level of emotions then you, I'm still holding back my own."

"Yes, she was your friend. She was a good person. She only recently learned how to control the animals rather than the other way. Now, I have no tutor and will have to learn as she did." At that, several birds started squawking loudly and angrily.

"Just be careful, Zak, We've had quite enough accidents of late. My teaching David how to hone his abilities has made me more cautious then I used to be."

Zak gave a wry and short laugh. "Yes, quite the pair we are with the accidents...." He looked back at Beverly and asked, "You going to sit or just stay behind me? Of course, I can see you there through the birds but it is not the same. Tell me why are you holding your emotions back?"

"I don't know. I cried endlessly when Steven left, then Masaki. And Allie dying. I...I'm not sure I can cry now. Not over this."

"This city does seem to bring nothing but problems." He paused for a moment, realizing something was missing. "There were no tears when your mother left?"

"No. Just anger. I remember when she tried to call, I unplugged the phone and threw it in the garbage. I thought Dad might actually be happy with Miss Jenkins. I was nervous they were dating, but I didn't...interfere." She finally sat down next to him. " Then she announced she was leaving, too."

"Perhaps I was stronger and better when I did not show or experience much emotion," he concluded looking at Beverly stoically. He then laughed. "I can hear Allie saying that as usual, I am missing the point, whatever that may be."

"You had to break sometime. I remember when I cried in your arms after the whole money fiasco.." she laughed hollowly. "God that was...horrible."

"We made it through," he answered, unconsciously edging closer to Beverly. "I suppose that we will get through this, as well."

"Yep. Got no choice, we're all that's left right now. Maybe..find others in the future." Beverly sighed deeply. "Tools are still there, just have to build back the resolve and hold onto each other for support."

"There was that new person helping remove wreckage. She seemed to be a super strength person. Perhaps we can talk to her. She could be helpful. I just hope that new additions will not add problems. We have enough to address as matters stand."

"Well..we don't have the rift we did.." Her answer was careful as she danced around he right words. "We're all one now, and the problems that kept us apart have been pretty much settled. With Masaki gone, there's no animosity that can't be...solved. So...I think we'll be okay."

"Masaki," Zak said in some combination of despondence, anger, and determination. "If I believed in a God, I would say that the loss of one of our own from each side of the rift would be a reckoning for all. However, that is a nonsense thought." He took a deep puff of his pipe and then looked at Beverly and offered it to her. "Want a drag?"

"No thanks. I'm more of an alcohol person if the mood strikes. That's..your thing, Zak."

"I enjoy alcohol, as well. Unforunately, Beverly, I did not bring any and I did not expect any company or I would have made arrangements to have some available."

"That's alright. Maybe some other time." She shrugged. "I didn't know you were here, I was just walking home."

"I will make sure that I invite you over at some point during the summer when my parents are gone and we can toast to friends and companions gone." He sighed. "Where were you coming from?" he asked with a bit of curiousity.

"A thrift store not far. I was just browsing looking for ideas."

Zak took another puff of his pipe and blew it away from Beverly before returning his gaze back to her. "Ideas for what? Surely you are not developing special abilities."

"No,.." she laughed. "You know me, always playing with some idea. I was actually looking for a tarp to maybe keep the rain out of some places better we might meet. It's portable and can be roped on or removed and carried wherever."

Zak gave a short laugh and smiled at Beverly, telling her, "You are as bad as I am. Your mind never shuts off either. It is a true blessing and curse."

"Well, we don't exactly have a barrel of money or pre-paid credit cards at our disposal anymore. We're going to have to learn to be more..innovative, Zak."

"We have always had that need. Hopefully we will continue to be one group, property values will increase at some point, and the police can assist with some of their funds for us."

"Well, we need to work on that too," she commented.

"I think," Zak started, "that we need a meeting sooner rather than later. Though, emotions are not my forte, I believe we all need a chance to mourn and discuss this in our own way and to plan for the future."

"Sort of console each other and coordinate while we figure what direction to go?" she prompted. "Yeah...I think so too."

Zak patted the bench, as if coming to some sort of determination. "I also believe that we should have you voted on to replace," he choked up a bit before continuing, "Allie as my second."

"Okay.." she sighed and nodded. "If you feel it's time.."

"Do you know a more appropriate time? I highly doubt that anyone would object and do you know anyone more logical for the position?"

"It doesn't just take logic Zak, there has to be someone who can emotionally connect with the team. Especially after all this. Loss is a terrible thing, believe me I know."

"And you have more experience with it than anyone else. You are the oldest of us, as well. I think that we need you."

"In that case if you feel right about it, I accept. So, we need to decide when the meeting will be and where."

"Right now, I believe the usual headquarters is best. It is well known and in our mourning, there will be no mistakes as to the location."

"I'm thinking after that though we should find a new place, Zak. Someplace not connected with us before. We've had contact with those who might be seeking to find us all together. Best to be safe."

"We can address that at the meeting. I do not disagree, however. Think of some new places. I will do the same if I can re-find my concentration." He looked at Beverly awkwardly and half reached an arm behind her on the bench, as if the arm itself was debating what it should do.

She noticed it, but decided he needed to feel comfort in that movement. In fact, they all did. "I'll do that.." she replied softly. "There are certainly enough empty places for candidates. The key is finding one that's..not so easy to find if that makes any sense?"

"It does," he said somberly. He then brought the arm around Beverly and brought her in for a hug. She could hear a small sob. He soon caught it and then released her. "I am sorry. I should not have done that. I should be leaving."

"Zak.." she stopped him. "It's okay to feel...and let go. I'm here so, hold me if you need to, and.." she didn't finish the sentence, but her eyes through her glasses said it all.

Zak nodded as he stood. "Thank you, Beverly," he responded, not certain as to why she stopped her sentence or as to what she meant by it. "I will remember your offer. But now, I should go home. I am beginning to feel a loss of control and that could be detrimental to the animals in the area. I have no desire to cause more harm."

"I get that." She stood up too. "Try to get some rest, and calm yourself. Give me a call if you need me. In fact, call anyway to let me know if you have any ideas or just want to vent. I may do the same." She smiled lopsidedly.

Zak nodded. "Alright. I will do that. Thank you, Beverly."